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Submitted on
August 18, 2012
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Thirty, twenty nine, twenty eight…….

The countdown would be over in less than twenty seconds and you didn't have anyone to kiss yet! You looked around and all the couples were already standing eagerly together waiting to start the New Year together.  

Eighteen, seventeen, sixteen………..

Hurriedly you stepped on your tip toes hoping to find at least one cute guy without a partner.  I mean come on! Fearing the humiliation of not getting a new year's kiss you scanned the crowd for a fifth time.

Nine, eight, seven, six…………….

With a sigh you looked down at your feet and waited for the teasing that was sure to come and lower yourself esteem that much more……..

Three, two, one……….

"Miss [y/n] if I may?"  Firm lips pressed against yours and your eyelids slowly closed. Kyoya Otori, your new year's love.


Valentine's Day. Joy another holiday that seems specifically designed to humiliate you. Let's review why. 1 you had no idea how to make chocolates 2. The guy you like may or may not know you exist and 3. By the small chance he does know who the heck you are you didn't want to poison him with you chocolates from hell.

And that pretty much brings us to today when you will spend the next eight hours stalking Takashi Morinozuka looking for the perfect moment to present him with your crappy chocolates

Before class the perfect time to give them to him before anyone else! Well it looks like you weren't the only one with that idea because the famous 'wild' host was surrounded by the usual swarms of girls. Damn.


"Hey [y/n]-Chan what's got you so down?" you looked up from your doodles to see the happy and bright face of Hunny.

"Oh hey Hunny nothing much other than I am a complete failure at romantic crap. " Hunny furrowed his brows and smiled at you gently.

"Anyway I can help [y/n]-Chan? I've seen you trying to get close to Takashi all day. I could give the chocolates to him for you if you like." You smiled and gave a little nod while handing the bunny shaped chocolate box before he hopped away in the direction you assumed Mori was in.


The next day in class you over heard two girls you talking to Hunny-you recognized them as his regulars-

"Say Hunny where's Mori today?" one of them asked. Curious you listen closer.

"Well he got these really cute bunny chocolates that he just couldn't stop eating and I guess they made him a little sicky~" ………….. Oh shit


"Whoa [y/n]-Chan you want me to celebrate Easter with you!" you giggled and nodded as the blonde Lolita threw his arms around you and squeezed.

"yeah Hunny I think you'll like it my mom always gives us kids the biggest chocolate bunnies she can find and we all have a hug Easter egg hunt!"

"You had me after chocolate bunnies!"


Scream filled the air as Karou swung the bat and a sticky red substance coated the skin and clothes of your whole family. You watched with a smile as broken pieces fell onto the tarp that lay beneath it. No, no Karou was not murdering everybody he was just breaking open the watermelon for your families Fourth of July party. He being Japanese you thought it might be fun for your boyfriend to get a taste of your American customs.-not at the airport that stuff sucks monkey ass-

Everyone clapped and little kids rushed to get the biggest pieces from the pile. You smiled as you saw Karou and your baby brother fighting over –by far- the largest slice. Of course him being nice he let your brother win and he mopped back over to you sluggishly. He smirked and you shivered. That smirk was never a good sign.

"Say [y/n]-koi you have a bit of watermelon juice riiggghhhttt here." Your eyes widened as you felt his soft lips on yours. You blushed and looked around as all your family members laughed at your boyfriend's liveliness.

"Ohoho young those two are!"

"Better watch out dear we may have grandchildren sooner than we thought!"

"Oh joy. -_-"for once you couldn't agree more with your dad.
"You want me to wear THAT to the Halloween party!?"

"Yeah you would look as cute as a sexy pirate! Cooommmmeeee ooooonnnn for me?" you turned your nose up at the sad excuse for an outfit.

"Not even for you now will you please throw that nylon underwear away and make a new one preferably one that covers more than 15% of my body?" you looked at your boyfriend with pleading eyes even  he couldn't say no to ……….. Or so you thought.


"Ok [y/n]-Chan just step into the dressing room and put this on." the red head handed you a white package and you happily stepped into the dressing room to try on his newest creation.  Undressing you pulled the tape off the paper and held your breath.

You unwrapped the outfit and scowl it was the same costume ha showed you last week. That shady bastard! You turned to retrieve you clothes and put them back on only to find that they were gone.

"Hikaru what he fuck is this I said more than 15%! This is the same one from last time!" you hear sniggering from behind the curtained and you peeked out……… to see Hikaru burning your clothes and throwing away the ashes.

"Oh [y/n]-Chan looks like you have no clothes but that costume so you have to wear it!"

"b-but I said 15% percent!" you stammered.

"Yea I know those thigh high stockings cover at least twenty!"  Fuck


"Oh my god mommy our daughter just invited me to enjoy a real commoners thanksgiving with her isn't that wonderful!" you watched as the energetic blonde hopped around telling everyone about how he was going to fly with you and your family to your home town of [h/t] and enjoy thanksgiving together.

"Tamaki it's not so much a commoner thing as an American thin- but you're not listening anyway so why do I bother………?"


"Wow [y/n]-Chan your house is a lot bigger than I thought!" Tamaki yelled-you couldn't help but wonder if he thought you lived in a shack or something- he gazed upon your family's 6,000 square foot house in relief as you opened the door and walked in.

As smiling woman poked her head out of the kitchen and smiled.

"[Y/N] YOUR HOME MOMMY'S MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" your mother ran over to you and swung you around in circles rubbing her cheek against yours. Ahh now you remember why you could tolerate Tamaki's weird antics…….

"Oh you must be that 'hot juicy bottom' that [y/n] has been telling us so much about!" you blushed and tried to resist the urge to kill your mother with the stick of celery she was holding.


"Oh sure, sure honey now let me show your boyfriend the kitchen. Inside you saw your aunt making her famous mashed potatoes and your brother stuffing the turkey.


"Um Tamaki that's a turkey and the imp is my brother……." wide eyed your brother looked at the fanatic blonde and deadpanned.

"I'm guessing you're the crazy S&M juicy ass."


yeah well i woke up this morning with a briliant plan for a black butler multi chappyfic but then my brain just toatly broke so this is what i came up with for you guys :p
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DownShiftPlus Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  New member Student Artist
This whole thing had me laughing my rear end off!!
dbztrunksgirl4ever Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  New member
Omg!!!! I laughed soooo hard that I started crying when I read the ending!!!
AngelTwinDolls11 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2014

Me: ***spits out lemonade laughing like a dork***
Asuna7x7 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014
O-M-G So f***** funny! I was at my cousins house when I read this and I've been tolded my laughter is kinda demonic and when I finale calmed down from my fit of laughfter my cousins were in the corner saying don't murder us......,LOL this is so funny your a AWSOME writer!
DarkRoseStayla1 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
marshmallow-panda Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time these are hilarious
attackongallifrey Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014
I freaking love this! Oh my gods so funny!
kkpowercutie Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
...? y is my family acting like perverts?
GamzeenMakaral Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
He...burned my clothes...

Honey poisoned the chocolates for Mori! That adorable hot midget!
oO0RyuuHeartsYou0Oo Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
no reader-tan suck at cooking
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