Oh the princess has been kidnapped. Oh the princess is in danger! Princess this! Princess that! It was driving you insane! Didn't the old ladies in the market have anything better to do than to gossip about 'how in love the Link boy is with the princess' yes Link. YOUR Link. Well not technically your link but you had been in love with him since you were little. Jealousy getting the better of you , you approached the old women.
"oh why hello [y/n] did you come to pick up your father's medicine?" the oldest of the four asked.
"yes, and I couldn't help but hear you talking about the princess." you said in what you thought sounded like a mourning tone.
"oh yes we were what a lovely young lady did you hear that she's coming to our village to thank link for all he's done!" the youngest said excitedly. You looked up in fake surprise.
"you mean you didn't hear about the accident?" you practically yelled so half the market place could hear you. The oldest woman came back with your father's medications and sat back in her chair.
"[y/n] what on earth are you talking about?" by this point almost everyone was eavesdropping and you were being shoved into an empty rocking chair. Perfect.
"ok so I was walking through the woods and......" and so you began to 'retell' how you heard about the tragic death of the princess. The old women -and most of the market- listened intensely nodding and gasping at appropriate points.
"oh deary [y/n] how could we have not heard about this sooner!" the oldest yelled "no one tells us anything anymore! Well deary you best be getting that medication back to your father." she shooed you off and you happily walked home.
'serves that little bitch right!' you cheered in your head. You walked up the pathway to your little cottage house.
"hey dad I'm ho-" the sight in front of you made you want to vomit, scream and kill all at the same time. Link getting his faced sucked off by that slut princess. You put on a fake smile that didn't reach your eyes.
"oh princess I didn't know you were here." you said sweetly. Surprised they un-suckered themselves and blushed.
"oh hi [y/n] I didn't know you would be home so soon we just came to talk to your father about something." Link said scratching the back of his head. Why would they need to see your father he was just a
...judge. With a twinge of pain your eyes slowly traveled down to the delicate ring on Zelda's.
"oh my gosh congrats!" you said clapping your hands together. " but no no no even if your eloping a princess cannot get married in that!" you gestured to her 'peasant' costume. "come with me I sure were the same size!" you pulled her hand toward your bedroom ignoring her protests.
Searching through your wardrobe you found one of your most prized possessions, Your mothers wedding dress.
"here change into this!" you said ushering her into the bathroom. Minutes later she emerged. She really did look beautiful but that only served to feed the inferno in your soul.
"oh come on lets go pick some flowers there are some really nice ones in a meadow nearby!" you said leading her to the back door. You lead her to the edge of the forest when she stopped walking.
"are you sure link told me not to go into the forests." she said sheepishly. God what a baby.
"oh come on I've lived here my entire live there's nothing dangerous in the forest!" besides me... you said silently to yourself. You continued to lead her deep into the forest into a secret clearing you had discovered years ago and indeed there were thousands of beautiful flowers. she gasped and knelled by the flowers.
"they're so beautiful!" she gushed. You grinned yeah.
"you know they say dead bodies make great fertilize." you said offhandedly. Confused she turned around just in time to see you pull out a knife. She screamed and you covered her mouth.
"relax I was just gonna cut the flowers!" you said demonstrating and handing a few to her.
"oh thank god. don't scare me like that [y/n]!" she said letting out a chuckle. You walked away to cut more flowers and mentally slapped yourself 'that was a close call [y/n] better get this over with quickly' you looked around searching for a certain flower. A poisonous one to be exact. Spotting it's bright orange color you picked it carefully being sure not to touch it directly. With the tip of the knife you split the stem down the middle so the sap dripped down the edge of the knife. Feeling it was time to get back you picked a bundle of random flowers and walked back to Zelda.
"hey [y/n] could you help me cut this one flower?" you nodded and asked her to hold the stem straight. You held you knife at such an angel that when you sliced the thin flower you left a small cut on her index finger, and that's all you needed.
"oh Princess I'm so sorry!" you gushed.
"oh don't worry about it it's just a scratch" she said waving you off. She picked up her flowers and begins to head back the way she came. "come on [y/n] the bride and the maid of honor can't both be late." she said sweetly and you couldn't help but wonder if she wasn't supposed to marry Link you might have been friends. You smiled and nodded.
"do you Link take the princess to be your lawfully wedded wife?" your father asked. Link smiled down at the rapidly paling Zelda.
"I do." he whispered. Zelda smiled and she began to sway involuntarily. You grinned from your place behind the couple.
"and do you Zelda take Link to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I d-d-" the smile slipped from the princess' pretty face and her knees buckled. She was dead before she hit the floor.
"EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT LOCAL HERO ELOPES WITH JUDGE'S DAUGHTER PRINCESS DEAD! READ ALL ABOUT IT!"